Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
