dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
