Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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