What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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