Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
