Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
