When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
