This dress was meant to end up on your floor
time to smoke my breakfast
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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