dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Randomize
