i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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