If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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