is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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