I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
