You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My nipple is on Facebook.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
