After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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