Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
whose ass print is on the piano?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
