I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
