That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
