Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
