I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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