its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
