K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sober January is a disaster.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
