So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
