Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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