got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
