Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Randomize
