i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
