we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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