she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
