who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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