Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We need to get me chipped asap
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
