WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
