Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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