Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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