i don't like sucking hair
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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