Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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