oh god the rape fog is back!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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