The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
