The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
