i just had sex bonerless
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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