We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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