I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
