Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
