I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
