Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
