Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
