Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
