I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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