Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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