shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she smelled like a LAN party
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
